if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
