i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
