My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
