We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize