let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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