My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Houston, we have a squirter
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
