in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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