just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
