Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
