Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

I wish costco sold astroglide.

(248): View more from Michigan

i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.

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(864): View more from South Carolina

We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.

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(406): View more from Montana

That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.

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(925): View more from California

she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"

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(702): View more from Nevada

I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.

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(734): View more from Michigan

You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters

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