She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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