But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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