sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
