i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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