Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
