I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize