I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just forgot I was standing up.
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