i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Randomize
