I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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