we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize
