Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
