drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
