pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
It's shark week go big or go home
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
