its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
