Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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