dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
