Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Randomize
