My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
