I wish my penis had an off switch
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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