I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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