There is no way he is gay with that hair.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
