ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
