I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
