His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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