Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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