This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
