I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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