Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
do herpes really smell.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize