Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
