You smell like a Billy Joel song
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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