I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Vodka?
Forever.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
