i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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