just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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