it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Its about making memories worth repressing
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
