finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize