guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
