I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Randomize
