you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
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