weddingsv make me drug and hornr
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize