plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
