Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
