So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
