I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Randomize