So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
