He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
