I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
