i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
A bitchslap is in order.
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