Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
