You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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