Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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