i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
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