I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize