I cut my penus on the lid.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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