OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
we're making bets on your personal life
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
